My daughter is 34, married, has a two year old son and is pregnant with her second child. She is married to a great guy who gets her...attitudes, whims, stubborness, and all. Pam is a successful business woman who works full time from her home. She is a loving sister to Scott, and a devoted daughter.
But who do I choose to write about first? Scott. My special needs son.
Seems like since Scott's birth, Pam has always taken second place. She is my first born, but she takes second place...in activity and time only, not in my heart. Scott was so all consuming back then that if I didn't have Pam there to help me I don't know how I would have made it.
She was only 8 years old when her dad left because he didn't want to be married to the burden of raising a special needs son. I had to teach her how to do laundry, make simple breakfasts like scrambled eggs and toast, and how to find her own entertainment as I was too tied up managing Scott and his temper tantrums, hyperactivity, wandering, and all consuming neediness.
Pam grew up to be independent and self-sufficient. I am not complaining. I am blessed. She could have grown up, given the life style, as a runaway, drug addict, heaven knows what...but she didn't. She grew up strong and healthy.
So even now, when they are all grown up and on their own, Scott still got first place in the mentioning when talking about my children. Sorry, Pam. You never complained and you never bad mouthed Scott, his disability, nor my need to tend to him first. What a special girl you are! Love, Mom
10 comments:
I'm sure Pam gets it Mom I get it. My oldest son was my helper and he shouldered far more than a child should have had to. He turned out to be my biggest ally and still helps me so much. I think we probably made them stronger because of it.
Hugs, Joyce
I think Pam will have a big star in her crown. What a wonderful person she is and I'm so glad she has a husband who "gets her" because she deserves it. A lot of the credit goes to you too for the way you raised her. Paula
A wonderful entry and family. Maybe Pam could go to the next special olympics with Scott. :o)
You and you family got dealt a dirthy deal being left along to survive on your own. Sounds like Pam is a better person because of taking on so much responsibility when she was a child. I am glad that she has a good husband. May God richly bless all of you. Helen
she seems like a wonderful young woman!! I have a special needs daughter (first child) and then my son who is 3.5 years younger (both adopted): anyway, my son picked up a certain type of compassion not seen among his friends because of being around my daughter; I'm sure your daughter picked that up too
I bet you are just thrilled to be having another baby in the family soon!
betty
Hello Karen. I discovered your journal while reading the comments on Joyce's . I enjoyed reading about you and Scott and his successes. I sometimes contrubute money to the Special Olympics. It's good to get some first hand information about it. I also live near Philadelphia. Visit my journal if you like. It's called Vagabond Journeys.
DB
Karen as you so right to say what a special girl Pam is ,so you have two very special children ,with a very very special Mum ,...love Jan xx
Your entry put tears in my eyes. The same thing happened to my daughter. My oldest son was so bad. He had severe AD/HD and he was tearing things up ,throwing huge temper tantrums. Always in trouble with other poeple around us like the neighbors and stores and such. He was a mess. She was always in the back burner so was my yuoungest daughter , Emily. My son straightened up soon after we moved up here five years ago. He is now a wonderful kid ith straight a's and loves football. My oldest daughter and I really dont have a very good reltaionship because of that. It is so nice that your daughter was so understanding. You are a wonderful mother to have such wonderful children. ..love, Christine
Sounds like you said an awful lot about Pam without talking about her. Also sounds like you did and incredible job as a mom!
~Rosemary
The attitude of your kids is a reflection on thier mom and how she raised them. I would say you did an absolutely amazing job hon. (Hugs) Indigo
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