I should have known the day on the golf course was going to be rough

I should have known the day on the golf course was going to be rough, especially since I got a par on the first hole!  I never get pars, let alone on the first hole.  It didn’t take long to learn that the first hole was the easiest one on this 18 hole golf course, Jackson Chase,  which had five par 5s and maybe one or two par 3s.  The rest of the holes were long, wide, hilly, bumpy, surrounded by either forest or marsh, and the wind! The wind refused to stop and it was always in my face which meant, if I were to get the ball off the tee and onto something notable, like the fairway?, I would have to hit it really hard.  Which I did.  And it went flying, way off to the right, or to the left, but never in the middle of the fairway…well, sometimes I got to the middle but only because the ball hit a rock and bounced back in.  Lucky me, eh?

 

Such was our second day of golf in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia.  Our first day of golf, at Shenandoah Valley Golf Resort, was my treat as I promised my boyfriend I would take him out to the links as his birthday present.  He wanted to go to  Pebble Beach in California, but nixed it due to the rising cost of airfare (he would be paying for that part, lol).

 

One can tell how the relationship goes based on the way one relates on the golf course.  Ours is going just fine, thank you very much.  After we sink the putt on each hole, we kiss.  If we get a par, which we did on the first hole at Jackson Chase …yes we BOTH got pars…we hug and kiss.  Doesn’t matter who is around, we do it!

 

I always let him win, but not by much.  That guarantees me a really nice dinner and an extra hug and kiss at the end of the 18 holes; not that I wouldn’t be getting it anyway, but the insurance sure tastes good when one is hungry and thirsty after five hours of swinging a club at a little ball.

 

Where we went for dinner and listened to jazz until the place closed down is a subject for another entry, as well as the day we went hiking and driving Skyline Drive.  Now that took a lot of love…on both our parts. 

 

To be continued….

Shenandoah Valley, VA , here I come!

I am not packed, but the laundry is done.  The golf clubs are in the car, the wine is chilling, the necessary, "I can't live without them" items are piled up and waiting to be placed into the suitcase.  I put a Hold on the mail, transported Sheba to my daughter's home, told my neighbors, and told my friends and family.  What is left?  I'm even telling my JLand friends, "I am going on vacation!" 

Since I started dating my boyfriend a year ago, we have been doing a lot of traveling.  We've been to Newport, Rhode Island,; Del Ray, Florida; the Poconos in PA; Chatham County, NY (does that count? this is where his son and his family live), and New Hope, PA for our first B&B experience together.

He likes to drive; I like to navigate (only kidding; he's a stickler for "knowing the directions"; heaven help me!  My mother always says, "Keep your mouth shut and the food coming and you'll do just fine.")

We do well together on the road and that can be metaphoric about how well we do as a couple.  We hardly argue and when we do it is usually me pushing the envelope because of something he did or did not do, or said.  But those confrontations are more like bumps in the road and we ride them with a giggle and hug.  He is the man of my dreams, finally!!   No more nightmares...oops, another metaphor.

Anyway, I'm off and will be away from the computer for a full week!  Enjoy your week everybody and keep us in your prayers.

Until then, Karen

The Rocking Chair

First of all, thank you everybody for the supportive words of encouragement to carry on!  Here is my next story.  Enjoy the read.

The Rocking Chair

The children’s rocking chair has a special place in my bedroom.  It is in the corner where I place dirty clothes, towels and socks before replacing them in the hamper.  It has a personal charm for all the years of service it provided.  The white paint on the arms of the chair is chipped off, but the bare wood makes the rocker look authentic and wise as if it were the keeper of many secrets and stories. 

 

I like throwing clothes onto the chair in defiance of my mother, who, during my adolescent years, incessantly yelled, “Clean up your room.”  The chair doesn’t care if I place dirty items on it.  It has quality.

 

Sheba claimed the chair as her place of rest when she was adopted from the S.P.C.A. 8 years ago.  She lies there resting in regal repose while chewing the rocking chair arm. I guess she doesn’t understand the wisdom that arm provided me. It was my elbow’s place of refuge while giving my infant child a bottle.  It was during those late night hours I would think about my new life as a mother and the wonder of it all.

 

That chair had sentimentality and I did not want Sheba ruining it.  So to keep the chair from further demise, I sprayed the armrest with Endust lemon scented spray.  I got the idea from a magazine clip and remembered it for some odd reason as I did not have a dog at the time of reading the article.  In any case, Sheba jumped up onto the rocker and settled herself into a nice time of chewing when she gagged and coughed and whined.  She looked at me, I looked at her and since my stare out did hers, she jumped off, never to return.

 

Knowing that one must substitute a bad habit with a good one, I bought three chew bones from the dollar store, tied together two old socks, and pulled out four tennis balls and six golf balls from my smelly gym bag in the closet.  She had more toys than my daughter has hair.  I decided these were to be her new objects of chewing frenzy.

 

And I was right!  Sheba took to the toys like the proverbial kid in a candy shop.  We are both happy.  I saved my rocking chair, and Sheba gets to chew, chew, and chew without reprimand.  Life is good.

 

So I'm Sitting Here Thinking About Writing Something Insignificant

So I’m sitting here thinking about the writing assignment presented by my writing group:  what goes on in my life that is insignificant.  I reflected on raising my two children as a single mother, my ex-husbands, my teaching, my volunteer work, my family and friends, and my writing.  These were important aspects of my being, and definitely worth recording, but that was not the assignment.  I went on to think about my childhood and teenage years.  Well, there were some close calls and some visits to the hospital emergency room, definitely not insignificant.  Exasperated, I put the assignment aside and walked away from my desk thinking that perhaps a fast paced walk through the woods would help me conjure up something.

 

Later that morning, as I walked Sheba on the trails of Haverford College, I pondered the assignment and found my self quickly pushing it out of my head.  I got agitated and annoyed.  Why do I have to do the assignment?  Why not write about something I am inspired to write about? I’m in this group to creatively explore my writing self, and if I want to write about men I’ve met on the Internet, then by God, I will!

 

I continued to stroll through the wet leaves on a muddy section of trail as I allowed myself to flashback to my college years when I had to write, on command, essays of no importance.  My grammar was horrific, my sentence structures and variances were non-existent, and my ideas were impotent.  I struggled to keep a C average.  I hated college essay writing! 

 

I remember one college assignment where I had to write about an exhilarating experience.  I spent hours brainstorming ideas such as skiing, partying, going to fraternity mixers, hiking, and spending all-nighters studying for exams.   I had many encounters to choose from, but the first time I rode as a passenger on a Harley-Davidson motorcycle won the decision.  I chose one moment during a day trip on the motorcycle and poured all of my scholarly knowledge into writing a descriptive essay.  I described how I felt when the wind hit my face while riding at 95 miles per hour.  I talked about the reactions of the people in their cars as I waved “hello” when we passed them at such a high speed.  I spoke of my feelings of magnificence and empowerment.  The pulsating vibrations I endured, while sitting on the back of the motorcycle, took on a whole new meaning of happiness.  I wrote about that, too.

 

I got a B- on the essay.  I was proud of that B-.  It took many revisions, much input from peer tutors, and personal willfulness to stick it out and complete the assignment.   From this experience I learned I could accomplish anything I put my mind to.  I discovered that I had the necessary desire to set a goal, the willful determination to achieve it, and the dedication to manage my negative self throughoutthe process.  These traits came to serve as a conduit to accomplishing future endeavors. 

 

Self-knowledge is a powerful tool.   I use it today to get me through frustrating predicaments such as writing an essay on some irrelevant moment in my life. 

Responding but not writing, or am I?

I am having so much fun reading and responding to a gazillion journal entries, that I have not taken the time to make my own entry.  At first, I was concerned that I may be shirking my responsibility to myself to do a daily write on some thought or opinion I had.  However, and I hope this isn't seen as a cop-out, I have been leaving some, I think, witty responses on other folks entries and I would like to think that is writing.

All that being said, I know I am coping out of my promise to myself.  Why is that? 

The hardest discipline for someone like me is to sit and be quiet.  A writer needs to do that.  Just sit and let the thoughts take over and in time an idea will come on which an essay can be written.   Some JLanders write beautifully and I am loving thier entries.  But I can not return the favor as I have not written anything of late.

I think I am doing the reading to avoid the writing.  That being said, I am going to work on a piece called, "Writing about Nothing".  LOL I'm thinking of Jerry Seinfeld and his show.

Until then, Karen

Did you know this about cell phones?

I got this from a friend.  I believe it is accurate information.

5 Things You Never Knew Your Cell Phone Could Do

For all the folks with cell phones. (This should be printed and kept in your car, purse, and wallet. Good information to have with you.)

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.

Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for
survival. Check out the things that you can do with it:

FIRST Emergency
The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an Emergenc y, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly, this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.

SECOND Have you locked your keys in the car?
Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: I f you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other 'remote' for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).

THIRD Hidden Battery Power
Imagine your cell batte ry is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370#.  Your cell phone will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell phone next time.

FOURTH How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?
To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following Digits on your phone: *#06#. A 15-digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe.

When your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You
probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.


And Finally....

FI FTH Free Directory Service for Cells
Cell phone companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411
information calls when they don't have to. Most of us do not carry a
telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes this situation even more of a problem. When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial: (800)FREE411, or (800) 373-3411 without incurring any charge at all. Program this into your cell phone now.

Warning! Credit Card thieves are out there!!

Sunday morning I get a call on my cell from an unlisted ID. I didn't respond as I know everyone who would call, and I don't like to use up minutes on wrong numbers or sales call (they happen once in awhile).  This one left a message, and being it was Sunday morning, I figured maybe it's someone who is trying to get ahold of me who isn't ordinarily on my radar.

It was my credit card company! They were investigating unusual expenditure behavior not consistent with my pattern of purchases. Two recent purchases were for $2479.00 and for $367.00.   I freaked out! 

I couldn't understand how someone got my credit card as I was sure it was still in my purse.  The guy told me that they can duplicate the magnetic strip on the back of the card and return the card to the owner.  Then a dummy card is created with the duplicate magnetic strip. This is probably what happened.

My credit card company is so right on with their investigation and security. I love them. They are USAirways Mastercard.

Anyway, the story is not over.  I told the guy that I was sure I had my credit card, but I was walking my dog at the time of this call and couldn't confirm it.  When I got back from the walk, I checked my wallet and...the card was gone!

Now, mind you, this is where it gets suspicious.  All of my checks I get from tutoring, and the cash I had, and theatre tickets were still in my wallet.  Just the credit card was taken.

Needless to say, I went through my purse, the car, the house, and my boyfriend's house and car thinking the card dropped out somewhere.  But no, the card was gone.

I remember on TV a warning about thieves robbing credit cards out of women's purses when their mind is elsewhere and not paying attention to their belongings. This would be at the movies, while shopping...shopping!  That's when it happened!  I was milling around in Wal-Mart, left my purse in the cart for just a second to grab an item off a shelf.  And as quick as that, the wallet was opened, card removed, wallet replaced, and I didn't notice a thing...'cause my mind was elsewhere.

USAirways Mastercard deleted the unusual expenditures and is sending me a new card.  Whew!  Now I am anxious about identity theft.  

One cannot be too careful these days, and that's a shame.

Karen

 

Happy Father's Day everyone!  My dad passed on 13 years ago; he is missed, but the loss has found a soft spot deep in the corner of my heart where I can summon up his memory at any given moment and share my day, my thoughts, my problems with him.  I swear sometimes I think he is sitting right next to me when I get an idea about how to resolve an issue or create a plan of attack on a project.

Today I wanted to say something about my mother, given she is still with us and still tells her grown daughters what to do, when to do it, where to do it, and with whom.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

She is 90 years old and lives alone, but has an aide that comes in part-time.  My sisters and I visit regularly, but since I am the organized teacher, I take care of the bill paying and record keeping and calling the plumber, setting the aide straight, and submitting insurance claims, etc., etc, and etc.  It is taxing and at times I get weary, short in patience, and emotionally exhausted from the care taking and worrying.  It is around that time that Mom will say something so rich and so tender, so to the point and so loving, that my strength is restored.  I swear my dad is sitting right next to me as I write this.  

Well, I just wanted to share that.  Here's a picture of me, mom, and my daughter taken at Caeser's Pier, Atlantic City, NJ last summer.   We call ourselves The Three Amigos.  Our latest venture is to go see Sex in the City...Mom's idea!!  We just have to wait for mom's bridge and luncheon schedule to open up so we can all go.

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JLand Photo Shoot entry-Two

           Mother and Child

This is my most favorite picture of all baby pictures taken since Sammy was born two years ago.  Here he is asleep in his mother's arms; he is, I think, two months old. I should keep a record, I know...but I always think I'll remember the day, time, event, and even the people.

Karen

How hot is it?

It is so hot, the tires on my car are melting!

It is so hot, hell looks good!

It is so hot, the birds stopped singing.

It is so hot, Sheba stopped pooping.

It is so hot, I can't think of anything else to write about!

But...tonight it is supposed to rain and tomorrow will be ONLY 86 degrees.

So I ask you, How Hot Is It?  Leave me a comment or three...I'd love to hear from you and how you are faring in this heat wave.

Until then, it is so hot my windows are crying.

 

Check out the changes I made

A sunny good morning to all you wonderful people!

Friday begins my weekend, so I won't be checking in until Monday.  I go to my boyfriend's house and hang with him...sometimes if there is a game on and if I am so inclined to let him watch, I may check my emails and read some of your entries; but no guarantee.

Meanwhile, please take a peek at the "All About Me" column as I have added pictures.

Until then...have one on me! (wish I had a picture of a wine glass).

What to do when the gas money runs out

Now, this guy has talent!  He is sketching a picture on his windowshield.  His windshield is full of DUST and he uses that to sketch his work on.

Here's another picture he created on his windshield, using dust as the paint:

This is what his windshield looks like before he sketches:

I can't draw a straight line let alone something like this.  I'm impressed!  Beats driving the darn thing and spending money on gas, right?

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OK, People...my answer to the ungodly increase in gas!  Only I would prefer wine...chardonney to be precise.

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First born, second place

My daughter is 34, married, has a two year old son and is pregnant with her second child.  She is married to a great guy who gets her...attitudes, whims, stubborness, and  all.  Pam is a successful business woman who works full time from her home.  She is a loving sister to Scott, and a devoted daughter.

But who do I choose to write about first?  Scott.  My special needs son.

Seems like since Scott's birth, Pam has always taken second place.  She is my first born, but she takes second place...in activity and time only, not in my heart.  Scott was so all consuming back then that if I didn't have Pam there to help me I don't know how I would have made it.

She was only 8 years old when her dad left because he didn't want to be married to the burden of raising a special needs son.  I had to teach her how to do laundry, make simple breakfasts like scrambled eggs and toast, and how to find her own entertainment as I was too tied up managing Scott and his temper tantrums, hyperactivity, wandering, and all consuming neediness.

Pam grew up to be independent and self-sufficient.  I am not complaining.  I am blessed. She could have grown up, given the life style, as a runaway, drug addict, heaven knows what...but she didn't.  She grew up strong and healthy.

So even now, when they are all grown up and on their own, Scott still got first place in the mentioning when talking about my children.  Sorry, Pam.  You never complained and you never bad mouthed Scott, his disability, nor my need to tend to him first.  What a special girl you are!  Love, Mom

 

Let me win, and if I can not win, let me be brave in the attempt.

My 32 year old son has Fragile X Syndrome.  This means he has a broken X chromosome on the XY gene.  This means he inherited the broken chromosome from me, and I inherited it from my mother.  The syndrome causes mental retardation and autism, sprinkled with all kinds of other issues.  Every child is different, but every mother carries the guilt and the sorrow for having passed on the defective gene to her son. 

My ex-husband decided, when my son was 6 years old, that he (the ex) was dealt a lousy deck of cards and wanted out of the marriage.  So I raised the children alone and the best I could, having made some mistakes, but having created a bond between mother and child that still stands strong today.

This weekend, Scott goes with his buds on a chartered bus to Penn State University to participate as an athlete in the basketball tournaments.  When he first participated in the Special Olympics games, I was told I had to go with him as he was difficult to manage and the volunteers would not take responsibility for his wandering and temper tantrums.  Scott surprised us, however, by behaving royally on that first trip.  From that time on, I did not have to shadow my son on his trips to tournaments.  He as been going since he was eight years old.  That is 24 years of Special Olympic participation.  Geez, that means it has been 24 years of practice sessions, games, outings, but most importantly, making life long friends with families of special needs children.

The Special Olympics oath: Let me win, and if I can not win, let me be brave in the attempt.  This is said at every game.  It has much meaning to me and I tear up every time I hear it.  I am sort of sorry that I can not attend the games with Scott.  But he is too old and my presence would "embarrass" him, just ask him.

Because of Scott, I have grown to be a strong, independent, loving, caring and sensitive woman.  He is my hero!  This weekend he will go to Penn State University to do his best and be brave in the attempt to win. 

So here's a shout out for Scott - "You go, guy!  Bring home the gold!!"   Love, Mom