I was quite angry at God

    I was quite angry with God when he brought divorce into my life, I was even angrier when I learned my ex was betraying our marital vows.  I continued to be angry as I ventured into the world as a single mom of 2 fabulous children, one who is mentally retarded.  My rage continued when I became disabled with Fibromyalgia.  It was a hard life. One I felt I did not deserve. 

 

Time passed and I explored the reasons why I was given such a difficult life to lead.  My journey took me to Rabbis, gurus, and reading materials that presented alternative views on the subject of "Why me, God?"  I learned much and somewhere in that period of time I repositioned myself.  I learned to accept my plight and carry on in faith that my life is as it should be and the difficult times are part of the whole package of living, not of victimization. 

 

Today, I am at peace with my history.  I have learned that God is not the "thing" up there in the big sky, but the "little voice" inside me that gives guidance, assurance, and hope.  I rely on that voice. I call it "instinct".  We all have it, it’s just some of us ignore it.  I am blessed with great children, a wonderful mom, and friends and family who support me unconditionally.  The bottom line is I like where I am, in spite of the difficult journey.