Horoscopes and Boyfriends

 There was a time when I read and believed horoscopes.  That was back when I was still "finding myself" and needed help with the road map.  I truly believed every word written and the words gave me strength to carry on.  Here is a sample of one I kept, after all these years:

 

Your Daily Horoscope for December 07, 2002 -Things are on the upswing for you today. People are finally coming around to seeing things from your perspective. There is no need to doubt your self for any reason. Look in the mirror and know that the person you see is capable of accomplishing anything. Your powerful emotions are your allies. So don't be afraid to let your heart speak up loud and clear the way it wants to.

 

It says I am "capable of accomplishing anything".  What have I accomplished?  I raised two children, alone.  Yes, they are emotionally stable and physically healthy and happy. So I guess I accomplished that.   I went back to graduate school, so, yes, I got my Master's degree.  I call my mother everyday.  That's a biggie.  I keep in touch with my friends regularly, and I have a boyfriend!  Now THAT was an accomplishment!  But back to "capable of ...” 

 

I don't see any of what I have done as accomplishments.  The graduate degree was necessity in order to get work.  The children were a joy and outcome of what I thought was a good marriage, so that was a given.  Calling my mother is what I was raised to do, that is not an accomplishment in my book.  My friends are my strength, so that's another given.  The only thing that I can relate to that may have been an accomplishment because it was not a given, not a life style, and not an aftereffect of marriage, is the boyfriend.  

 

Returning to the single scene when the children were children posed a challenge.  How does one go about meeting and dating without affecting the children?  It takes much imagination and forethought.  My dating cycle consisted of twice a month when the kids were with their father.  Not much time to develop a relationship, but...enough time to quiet the libido and satisfy the need.   That worked, actually, for a long time.  After all I got to have my cake and eat it, pardon the pun, too.

 

But that was then, and the children grew up and went away, as they should.  Now I am a frustrated middle aged woman who is menopausal and horny.  How in heaven's name am I to deal with that?   There are stories of how I do deal with that but they are for other journal entries.  Today I am dealing with the ACCOMPLISHMENT of finding and keeping a boyfriend.

 

Internet dating is the way to go.  I have been doing it for years, in fact ever since that horoscope you read dated 2002.  It hasn’t been easy and it hasn’t been pretty, but I survived the journey and am able to write about it.  I kissed many frogs andslept with even more, but I emerged a Princess.  What I did was not give up.  I may have let my subscription end and take a few months off between boyfriends, but I always went back on line and looked for Mr. Right - not McDreamy or McSteamy - just the right guy for me.  And there in is the reality of boyfriend search:  look for real, not fantasy picks from webcams and TV shows.  You know who you are and what really works.  When I stopped playing and started getting serious I became a person who could accomplish anything I set my heart on. 

 

So are horoscopes telling me something I shouldn’t ignore?  Perhaps.  Maybe I would have accomplished finding a boyfriend without reading the online newspaper.  Maybe not.   Who cares?  I got him and I am not letting go.

 

Yes, Virginia, there is hope for the frustrated middle aged woman who thinks menopause is their demise.